Category Archives: Parenthood

If not for The Force, Darth Vader would have totally gotten his ass kicked, because that suit? Not very practical.

OK, so here’s the story with this bullshit: A few weeks ago, Wonder Woman and I took the kids to the comic-book store. While there, Wonder Woman, who is on the school council at Zan’s elementary school, hit up the owner to help sponsor a school fundraiser by providing for the event one of the costumed characters that often appear at the store. The owner said he didn’t have anyone specific he could send, but he’d be willing to loan out the store’s $800 Darth Vader costume. “Jon’s pretty tall,” Mr. Helpful Comic-Book Store Owner suggested. “He could wear it.”… [read the rest]

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Posted in Parenthood | Tagged | 22 Responses

Howzabout we just pretend I never said anything, and you can all crawl back into the sewer?

Wow. Just … wow. I’ve gotten quite an education over the past couple of days about a controversy I never knew existed. There apparently are battle lines drawn out there. On one side are the Childfree (a single word, I’ve learned), and on the other side are the Childed (what most people refer to as “Parents,” and what the angry faction of the Childfree movement refers to as “Breeders”; they also refer to mothers as “Moos” and fathers as “Duhdees” … and, I swear to Christ, I’m not making this up). When I sat down to write my “So now… [read the rest]

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Also posted in Life | 70 Responses

The Cruel Shoes

See those shoes? If you have young children, you’re probably quite familiar with them. If not: they’re called Crocs … and everyone loves Crocs. Crocs rock. Except, c’mere and I’ll tell you a little secret: I think they suck, and I rue the day my children fell in love with them. I don’t call them Crocs; I call them Trips … because I have watched my children trip and fall in them so many times — particularly Zan, who isn’t the most graceful or coordinated dude in the vicinity to begin with — that one would think I walked around… [read the rest]

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Also posted in Jayna, Zan | 58 Responses

Pay no attention to that safer vaccine behind the curtain

So I took the kids to get their flu shots yesterday, and it sucked. The End. Seriously, need I say more? I mean, if you’ve ever had to take your kids to get a flu shot — or any shot, for that matter — you know the deal: shot = sucks. The End. But, of course, that’s not The End, is it? No, certainly not … for I must entertain and astound you, and, with any luck, make you regurgitate your beverage through your nose. So … When Wonder Woman informed me that she had a work commitment Wednesday evening,… [read the rest]

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Also posted in Jayna, Zan | 31 Responses

9/11

No one I knew or was related to died on that awful day, and I was neither in New York nor Washington D.C. when it happened; like most, I listened to it on the radio and watched it on TV. The people who experienced it firsthand, and the people who lost loved ones, are the people who have truly meaningful stories to tell about Sept. 11, 2001. Still, for eight years, I’ve always felt the need to write about it, both for myself, and for my children, so that, when they’re old enough, and if they care to, they can… [read the rest]

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Also posted in Life | 29 Responses