Super Bowl Fun Fact: That outfit Beyoncé had on? I’m wearing the same thing. Tough to walk in these shoes, but my ass looks spectacular. — Daddy Scratches (@DaddyScratches) February 4, 2013 What, you thought I was kidding? Awesome — and real — Beyonce images HERE.… [read the rest]
- RT @ScratchPolitics: An Open Letter of Apology to @POTUS @BarackObama: https://t.co/EtXuYwFFTA about 2 days ago
- And just when my latest mortality-induced panic attack has subsided, along comes @BillNye with this helpful morsel: https://t.co/UXtdvYiqps about 2 weeks ago
- Sometimes, I feel pretty good about life & then I remember I'm going to die one day & I have a panic attack. Happy Wednesday, everybody! 😃 about 2 weeks ago
- I think I speak for everyone when I say that 2017 is shaping up to be a real pig fuck. #HappyNewYear about 2 weeks ago
Daddy on the Go
- I've narrowly cheated death yet again
- Why, yes, children, of course we can get a dog … and by “yes” I mean “fuck no.”
- A note to my children from The Elf on the Shelf
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery Rhyme
- Zombie Dinner Party … with your chef, Dr. Hannibal Lector
- Mother Nature is a heartless wench who will turn your own children against you
- The time I almost became a highly paid insurance mascot.
- The time I committed the most embarrassing social gaffe in the history of embarrassing social gaffes.
- The time I did my best to completely sabotage a dream vacation.
- The time I finally used my passport.
- The time I got a vasectomy.
- The time I nearly burned down my house.
- The time I built a car … I mean, a high-tech doorstop.
- The time I was forced to deal with an incontinent doll.
- The time I couldn't free my daughter from a bath seat in which she had become trapped.
- The time I hung out with Van Halen.
More Ways to Love Me
- Good news for those of you not particularly interested in getting bludgeoned half to death by my angry, political rants (5)
- The post in which I take a deep breath and try to pull my shit together (5)
- Jeanne: My bad. I retract this remark. I certainly didn’t mean cabinet.
- Good news for those of you not particularly interested in getting bludgeoned half to death by my angry, political rants
- The post in which I take a deep breath and try to pull my shit together
- Well, look on the bright side: At least we … um … you know … uhhh … there’s always … hmmm … OK, I’ve got nothin’. We’re fucked.
- This one hurts
- And then I went outside to shovel and never came back
- “10 Years a Blogger” (which seemed like a catchy title when I first thought of it, but then I realized that’s because it’s reminiscent of “12 Years a Slave” … which I never saw, but I assume it’s about slavery … and, other than the pay, blogging has nothing in common with slavery … the latter of which is neither a funny topic, nor anything to make light of … and I should probably just stop talking now)
- Jury unanimously rules in favor of enraged father who used controversial “Star Wars”-spoiler defense in the beating death of his 12-year-old son’s dickhead classmate
- Star Wars: The Dork Awakens