Curt Schilling is a baseball god to me. What he did with my beloved Red Sox in 2004 — the bloody sock, Game 6 of the ALCS, the team’s first World Series victory in 86 years (a victory for which Curt was largely responsible) — earned a revered and hallowed place in my heart for Curt Schilling The Pitcher. Curt Schilling The Political Commentator? Not so much. Which brings us to the following tête-à-tête (tweet-a-tweet?). nytimes.com/2013/02/05/us/… Men & women fought and died for this right, gave their lives for this right, and we’re going to complain about a wait? —… [read the rest]
- 1.) I hate & suck at cooking. 2.) Serious question: Does the preheat light usually come on for "Broil"? 3.) See #1 https://t.co/WVfZNR4ZwU about 1 day ago
- Someone asked me today if I watched #RNCinCLE. They might as well have asked if I enjoy lighting myself on fire and humping a gas pump. about 4 days ago
- Optimistically, I’m at the 1/2-way mark. Took the 1st half very seriously & gave lots of fucks. Glad I got that out of the way. about 1 week ago
- I thought iPhone's autocorrect was annoying. Then I found out there's a Health app that knows I'm not getting laid. https://t.co/i4SNSupr6m about 2 weeks ago
Daddy on the Go
- I've narrowly cheated death yet again
- Why, yes, children, of course we can get a dog … and by “yes” I mean “fuck no.”
- A note to my children from The Elf on the Shelf
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery Rhyme
- Zombie Dinner Party … with your chef, Dr. Hannibal Lector
- Mother Nature is a heartless wench who will turn your own children against you
- The time I almost became a highly paid insurance mascot.
- The time I committed the most embarrassing social gaffe in the history of embarrassing social gaffes.
- The time I did my best to completely sabotage a dream vacation.
- The time I finally used my passport.
- The time I got a vasectomy.
- The time I nearly burned down my house.
- The time I built a car … I mean, a high-tech doorstop.
- The time I was forced to deal with an incontinent doll.
- The time I couldn't free my daughter from a bath seat in which she had become trapped.
- The time I hung out with Van Halen.
More Ways to Love Me
- The Cruel Shoes (56)
- L r a: Crocks rock! Totally love them & have had no issues with any of the pairs we have- all sizes & styles!...
- This one hurts (8)
- Amy K.: I grew up in the Minneapolis area, and still live here, and we are taking it hard! I was lucky enough to see...
- Keeley: I must be older than you; for me it was Bowie. It was my son who texted me that Bowie was gone and right...
- Paige: I had never cried over a celebrity or musician dying until Thursday. 🙁 I’ve had his music on full...
- Karen B.: Me too. All of it. Taking this one hard. 🙁
- The Cruel Shoes (56)
- This one hurts
- And then I went outside to shovel and never came back
- “10 Years a Blogger” (which seemed like a catchy title when I first thought of it, but then I realized that’s because it’s reminiscent of “12 Years a Slave” … which I never saw, but I assume it’s about slavery … and, other than the pay, blogging has nothing in common with slavery … the latter of which is neither a funny topic, nor anything to make light of … and I should probably just stop talking now)
- Jury unanimously rules in favor of enraged father who used controversial “Star Wars”-spoiler defense in the beating death of his 12-year-old son’s dickhead classmate
- Star Wars: The Dork Awakens
- I was going to be a successful writer but then A.D.D. and Facebook and what the fuck were we just talking about?
- Dear Interstate 95: Please stop being an asshole.
- I have many important updates for you … minus “many” and “important.”