As you can imagine, a big-time blogger such as myself gets inundated with marketing pitches day in and day out … because, when it comes to setting trends and moving product, there’s no better place to reach the world a few people than right here. OK, so maybe “inundated” is a bit of an overstatement. More like “occasionally sent a form letter that starts with ‘Dear Mr.,’ but then the part after ‘Mr.’ where my name should be is blank, and nothing makes me want to keep reading about your product more than that type of heartfelt correspondence. Unfortunately, however,… [read the rest]
Daddy's Briefs
- At fucking last ... http://t.co/TWf9vNdD about 5 days ago from web
- Daddy Scratches Fragrance Tip™: If 10 secs after you walk into neighboring cubicle I'm overpowered by your perfume, you're wearing too much. about 5 days ago from web
- You Know You're Old When: The shit you think is *so* 5 minutes ago is shit young people have never even heard of. about 1 week ago from web
- If I could have foreseen getting hit in the nuts as hard as I just did with a lacrosse ball, I wouldn't have bothered getting a vasectomy. about 1 week ago from Twitter for iPhone
- I love when the babysitter's car is nicer than mine. Doesn't at all make me question my life path. about 2 weeks ago from Twitter for iPhone
More ways to love me
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Recent Posts
- This be my bad chariot
- This post is pointless, goes nowhere and contains a completely unrelated photograph. Allow me to apologize in advance for wasting your time.
- I wish these kids would demonstrate a little self-confidence and individuality
- This photo makes me ache for another tropical vacation … but I’ll settle for a really stiff margarita.
- It will be best for my daughter’s future boyfriend if someone hides this picture from me, because if I should happen to see it on the night that he comes to fetch her for their first date, I will pummel his teenage ass to smithereens
Recent Comments
- This be my bad chariot (15)
- the muskrat: Congrats to y’all, then! Ours has 107k, and I worry about having to get a new one in the coming...
- Carole: Here’s what my dad always says about the bells & whistles: “Just one more fucking thing to...
- Smokey: Kudos to Civic’s with over 200k on it. Been there done that.
- Sarah T: I have a 96 toyota camry with 170,000 or so miles. It runs great(fingers crossed), but looks like shit....
- heidi: Looks pretty cool to me. Maybe not as cool as a left-handed albino sasquatch riding a one-eyed unicorn, but,...
- This be my bad chariot (15)
Greatest Hits
- A note to my children from The Elf on the Shelf
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery Rhyme
- Mother Nature is a heartless wench who will turn your own children against you
- The time I almost became a highly paid insurance mascot.
- The time I built a car … I mean, a high-tech doorstop.
- The time I committed the most embarrassing social gaffe in the history of embarrassing social gaffes.
- The time I couldn't free my daughter from a bath seat in which she had become trapped.
- The time I did my best to completely sabotage a dream vacation.
- The time I finally used my passport.
- The time I got a vasectomy.
- The time I hung out with Van Halen.
- The time I nearly burned down my house.
- The time I partied with all the cool mommybloggers and saved The Bloggess's life … sort of.
- The time I thought my son was going to get his ass kicked by a girl.
- The time I was forced to deal with an incontinent doll.
- Why, yes, children, of course we can get a dog … and by “yes” I mean “fuck no.”
- Zombie Dinner Party … with your chef, Dr. Hannibal Lector








Word got out that I’m the guy who can make or break your television series
That Ray Romano, boy, I tell ya. He knows a good thing when he sees it … and by “it,” I mean “me.” As you may recall, I sprinkled upon Ray’s “Men of a Certain Age” series premiere a wee bit o’ my special Daddy Scratches magic-pixie dust, and BOOM! Next thing you know, the show is a success, and hello, season two. You’re welcome, Ray. Anyway, it seems Ray was chatting me up to “Southland” star Michael Cudlitz … a conversation I’m pretty sure went a little something like this: So, Michael, I hear TNT saved your “Southland” series… [read the rest]