So there’s that whole thing with me and Van Halen, right? Well, the band is about to release its first new album with original singer David Lee Roth in 28 years, and to drum up some excitement, the boys are playing a private show Thursday night in New York City at a little hole-in-the-wall place that holds only a couple hundred people. It’s about as big as my kitchen. (Background info: My kitchen = Not so big.) Here’s the outside: Here’s the inside: Now, the newly minted Year 2012, after hearing what I was willing to do in order to… [read the rest]
Daddy's Briefs
- RT @HowardStern: Cory Booker Nails Marriage Equality In 5 Minutes http://t.co/vbORSEvC via @moveon @corybooker about 2 days ago from Twitter for iPhone
- If the new #VanHalen album kicked any more ass, it'd be wanted for assault. Full-body goosebumps. Dear @EddieVanHalen: Sorry I doubted you. about 2 days ago from web
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme: http://t.co/mkoOo7Du about 4 days ago from web
- Someone just found my site by searching the Internet for "middle aged male." Thanks for the reminder, asshole. about 5 days ago from web
- I love people. Especially when they stay away from me. about 6 days ago from web
- Hey, does anybody know if @Google is changing their privacy policy? about 6 days ago from Twitter for Mac
More ways to love me
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Recent Posts
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme.
- Why, yes, children, of course we can get a dog … and by “yes” I mean “fuck no.”
- Happy Birthday to me … in NYC … Wait, come back. I promise I won’t try to bust out any more rhymes.
- If I had been any closer to the stage at that Van Halen show the other night, I’d be carrying Eddie’s baby
- That blow job I offered 2012? Already paying off.
Recent Comments
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme. (29)
- Kristin: Been there. Paid extra for the flavoring, only to have children immediately throw up the expensive medicine...
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- Why, yes, children, of course we can get a dog … and by “yes” I mean “fuck no.” (40)
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- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme. (29)
Greatest Hits
- The time I almost became a highly paid insurance mascot.
- The time I built a car … I mean, a high-tech doorstop.
- The time I committed the most embarrassing social gaffe in the history of embarrassing social gaffes.
- The time I couldn't free my daughter from a bath seat in which she had become trapped.
- The time I did my best to completely sabotage a dream vacation.
- The time I finally used my passport.
- The time I got a vasectomy.
- The time I hung out with Van Halen.
- The time I nearly burned down my house.
- The time I partied with all the cool mommybloggers and saved The Bloggess's life … sort of.
- The time I thought my son was going to get his ass kicked by a girl.
- The time I was forced to deal with an incontinent doll.









If I had been any closer to the stage at that Van Halen show the other night, I’d be carrying Eddie’s baby
I knew going into last Thursday night’s Van Halen concert that, based solely on the size of the venue, I’d be fairly close to the stage … but I didn’t know I’d be THIS close: No, seriously: One of the most awesome things about sitting this close to the stage while seeing Van Halen perform in a tiny little basement club in New York City … is being able to say that you were sitting this close to the stage while seeing Van Halen perform in a tiny little basement club in New York City. In truth, the show was… [read the rest]