Category Archives: Zan

A real prick

We’re in the midst of an economic crisis, and two wars, and there are droughts and disease and famine happening around the globe … and yet, I still am able to get disproportionately annoyed by the little things that go wrong during the course of the day. Here, let me tell you about one such thing—and let me take my damn sweet time getting to the thing itself, because it’s all about the journey, not the destination, am I right? Wonder Woman had a work commitment this afternoon and evening, so I was home with the kids, who were delightful.… [read the rest]

Pin It
Also posted in Buffoonery, Parenthood | 20 Responses

Alternate ending

CUT! CUT CUT CUUUUUT! OK, c’mere. Do you see this script? Do you? Look right here, genius: “The Boston Red Sox, who were down three games to one and came within seven outs of being eliminated, complete yet another stunning and historic comeback to claim the 2008 American League pennant; World Series starts at Fenway Wednesday night. ROLL CREDITS.” Now, listen, jackass—who are you again? Tampa who? Tampa Bay? And you think you can just waltz in here and start ad-libbing? I don’t think so! Why not? Well, not that I owe you an explanation, Mr. Johnny Come Lately Tampa… [read the rest]

Pin It
Also posted in Red Sox | 5 Responses

The Tenth Man

Second greatest comeback in postseason history … and you all have me to thank for it. It was the fifth inning and the Sox were getting blanked, 5-0. It was a funeral. Sox hitters looked like zombies, and Sox pitchers were helping the Rays hold an impromptu home-run derby. The TBS announcers had shovels in hand and were tossing dirt on top of the almost-closed coffin. Wonder Woman had seen enough. “I’m going to bed,” she said. “I’m sorry honey,” she added, trying to comfort me as my team rolled over and played dead. And then I had an epiphany:… [read the rest]

Pin It
Also posted in Red Sox | 6 Responses

Episode VII: Battle for the Bed

It seemed like a simple enough thing: because he’s growing so fast, Zan’s fire-engine bed was well on its way to becoming Zan’s mini-barstool, so we needed to get him an actual twin bed. There were some constraints, however—the first of which was that it needed to be physically low enough to fit into the corner of his room, and the second of which was that it needed to be financially low enough to fit into our meager budget. Enter Ikea. Wonder Woman scoured their site and found a bed that satisfied both requirements. However, when we got to the… [read the rest]

Pin It
Also posted in Life, Parenthood | 4 Responses