The thing about not posting a blog entry for an unreasonably long time is that…… [read the rest]
Daddy's Briefs
- This hurts, but: I'm selling my #Dad2Summit ticket for $205. Current full-price cost: $350. So, yeah: It's a good deal. For you, that is. about 19 hours ago from web
- RT @HowardStern: Cory Booker Nails Marriage Equality In 5 Minutes http://t.co/vbORSEvC via @moveon @corybooker about 4 days ago from Twitter for iPhone
- If the new #VanHalen album kicked any more ass, it'd be wanted for assault. Full-body goosebumps. Dear @EddieVanHalen: Sorry I doubted you. about 5 days ago from web
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme: http://t.co/mkoOo7Du about 1 week ago from web
- Someone just found my site by searching the Internet for "middle aged male." Thanks for the reminder, asshole. about 1 week ago from web
- I love people. Especially when they stay away from me. about 1 week ago from web
More ways to love me
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Recent Posts
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme.
- Why, yes, children, of course we can get a dog … and by “yes” I mean “fuck no.”
- Happy Birthday to me … in NYC … Wait, come back. I promise I won’t try to bust out any more rhymes.
- If I had been any closer to the stage at that Van Halen show the other night, I’d be carrying Eddie’s baby
- That blow job I offered 2012? Already paying off.
Recent Comments
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme. (31)
- Amber: oh wow! We just started our round yesteray, and I bought Ande’s mints for bribes today! I’d try...
- Kristy: As a long-time lurker but first-time commenter… that was beautiful *sniff, sniff*, heart-warming stuff....
- Kristin: Been there. Paid extra for the flavoring, only to have children immediately throw up the expensive medicine...
- Nicole: Brilliant! No other words.
- Why, yes, children, of course we can get a dog … and by “yes” I mean “fuck no.” (40)
- Barbara: “having a dog is like having a baby … except the baby never advances beyond age two” Truer words...
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme. (31)
Greatest Hits
- The time I almost became a highly paid insurance mascot.
- The time I built a car … I mean, a high-tech doorstop.
- The time I committed the most embarrassing social gaffe in the history of embarrassing social gaffes.
- The time I couldn't free my daughter from a bath seat in which she had become trapped.
- The time I did my best to completely sabotage a dream vacation.
- The time I finally used my passport.
- The time I got a vasectomy.
- The time I hung out with Van Halen.
- The time I nearly burned down my house.
- The time I partied with all the cool mommybloggers and saved The Bloggess's life … sort of.
- The time I thought my son was going to get his ass kicked by a girl.
- The time I was forced to deal with an incontinent doll.
NaBlowMe
The author at work
Feeling like an underachiever because you can’t even conceive of having your shit so together that you could successfully participate in NaBloPoMo? Well, fear not, friends, because this pathetic, wanna-be blogger is starting his own little cool-kid clique: NaBlowMe!
As part of my First Annual Daddy
Scracthes(<-No, seriously: I just misspelled that word and had to stare at it for about five seconds before I was able to figure out why spellcheck was busting my balls about it … because I’m typing this in bed at 11:15 p.m. and I’m barely conscious … which gives you a small glimpse into why this blog sucks so hard as of late) Scratches NaBlowMe event, I will not be posting every day in November … which I’m sure comes as a total fucking shock to exactly no one who reads this shamefully neglected blog. Instead, I will most likely post a paltry handful of entries, all of which will be tied together by a general theme of me pissing and moaning about how little time I have to write for my blog during the early stages of my new life here in Pennsylvania. Wahhhh.If you’d like to participate in the inaugural NaBlowMe, just leave a comment below stating your intention to join me in my quest to be the World’s Shittiest Blogger … or don’t. Either way, I’ll just assume you suck as much as I do … so thank you; it’s nice to know I’m not alone.