Heavy Metal

It takes a lot of hardware to hold up a big-ass tent that can comfortably accommodate several thousand people.

(Bank of America Pavilion in Boston, where we saw Chickenfoot the other night.)

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Do the chickens have large talons?

A few months ago, I was all “Chickenfoot, Chickenfoot, Chickenfoot!” And you loved it. (At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.)

Now, if you’ll please indulge me once more, I’m going to go all “Chickenfoot, Chickenfoot, Chickenfoot!” on you again … but, after this entry, you probably won’t have to hear about them for a while, because Chad, their drummer, will soon head into the studio to record a new album with his main group, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and when that happens, I fear that Chickenfoot won’t ride again for quite some time.


Chickenfoot came to town Monday night, and instead of playing a tiny little basement club, they hit the stage at a really sweet venue on the waterfront in Boston.

(A quick refresher: Chickenfoot features ex-Van Halen members Sammy Hagar and Michael Anthony, Red Hot Chili Peppers drummer Chad Smith, and renowned guitarist Joe Satriani. Wonder Woman and I are close friends with Michael’s longtime bass tech, Mr. Kevin Dugan, and, thanks to Kevin, are also friends with Michael himself.)

Seeing as how Wonder Woman and I are flat broke and in debt up to our eyeballs, we thought it would be a good idea to check into a really swanky hotel near the venue and spend the afternoon drinking expensive tequila.

Patron margaritas, straight-up with salt. Yum.

Yes, when it comes to fiscal responsibility, look no further, for Daddy Scratches and Wonder Woman are here to show you how it’s done. (In our defense, we actually had only a couple of those margaritas, then retired to our luxurious, water-view room, where we had stocked the fridge with a few Coronas we brought from home … because we’re so frugal, you see.)

A little while before show time, Kevin brought us backstage and let us pose with a couple of Mike’s guitars.

As shown in yesterday’s Photo of the Day, Wonder Woman struck a pose with the famous Jack Daniel’s bass:

Wonder Woman will rock your ass off

I opted for the new Chickenfoot model:

CHICKENFOOT in Boston, 08.24.09

A minute or two after those photos were taken, the band showed up, and we were lucky enough to spend a few minutes hanging with Michael, who really is the nicest guy in the rock-and-roll universe.

I have not asked Michael to pose for a picture with us in more than a decade, but the other night was the first time we’ve hung out with him since I got this whole Daddy Scratches thing off the ground, so I basically made myself look like a douchebag by hitting him up for this photo just so I could show off for the Internet.

CHICKENFOOT in Boston, 08.24.09

There, are you happy? My one rock-star friend thinks I’m a douchebag now. The shit I do to impress you people.

Kevin was our cameraman, and just as he was about to take our picture, Sammy walked up and purposely bumped into him from behind in order to sabotage the shot, which caused Kevin to almost drop our camera. Luckily for Sam, Kevin kept his grip on it … and it’s a good thing, too, or else I would’ve had to have kicked Sam’s ass, and then the show would have been canceled, and the thousands of Chickenfoot fans in attendance would have been totally pissed at me, and Boston P.D. would have charged me with assault and thrown me in jail, and it all would have been because I had to go and ask Mike to pose for a picture with us. So I won’t be doing that again anytime soon.

(Sam made up for it by hanging out with us for a couple minutes … but, really, I think it would have been a much nicer gesture on his part if he had offered to fly us down to Cabo San Lucas on his private jet and put us up at his beachfront home for a few days. I’m just sayin’.)

Because I don’t like to mooch tickets off of Kevin and Michael, and because the publicist shafted me for that small club gig back in May (which forced us to rely on Kevin and Michael get us in, and did I mention that I don’t like doing that to them?), I decided to shell out for a pair of tickets for Monday’s show back when they went on sale, and managed to score seats that were 12th row center.

This, of course, guaranteed that the publicist would come through for me this time … and, sure enough, less than 24 hours before the show, I found out I had a pair of comp tickets for two more seats that were 12th row center … which is how we ended up rocking out with my brother and his girlfriend, who answered the call and made it to the venue about 10 minutes before the group hit the stage.

CHICKENFOOT in Boston, 08.24.09

And then, my friends, the rock, it did commence.

CHICKENFOOT, Boston, 08.24.09

CHICKENFOOT, Boston, 08.24.09

CHICKENFOOT, Boston, 08.24.09

CHICKENFOOT, Boston, 08.24.09

Hey, that bass looks familiar!

CHICKENFOOT, Boston, 08.24.09

CHICKENFOOT, Boston, 08.24.09

CHICKENFOOT, Boston, 08.24.09

CHICKENFOOT, Boston, 08.24.09

Michael is known for his high harmonies … and let it not be said that the man doesn’t give it his all.

CHICKENFOOT in Boston, 08.24.09

A hot summer night rocking out with Chickenfoot at an open-air venue on the Boston waterfront, followed by a two-minute walk to a hotel where awaited the most ridiculously comfortable king-sized bed ever, from which we did not rise until after 9 o’clock the next morning? Totally worth risking bankruptcy and home foreclosure, people.


P.S.: Thanks again, Kevin!

P.P.S.: Here’s a little Chickenfoot for y’all (and do be sure to crank it up) …

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Posted in Marriage, Music, Van Halen, Zan | 20 Responses

My wife will rock your ass off

Some (most?) of you will look at the above picture and say, “Yeah, OK, that’s a nifty guitar and all, but, like, so what?” And if you are one of the people who says that, then so be it, and have a nice day.

And some (a few?) of you will look at the above picture and say, “Holy shit, is that ex-Van Halen bassist Michael Anthony‘s famous Jack Daniel’s guitar?” Why, yes, as a matter of fact, it is.

And, surely, all of you will say, “That is one bad-ass ‘I’m rocking Michael Anthony’s Jack Daniel’s bass guitar’ pose that Wonder Woman is striking there!”

And you’d be right about that.

(There’s more to the story … and I’m working on it now. Blog entry to follow before my head hits the pillow tonight. Here you go.)

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Happy Birthday to me … sorta

Happy Birthday, DaddyScratches.comOr, at least, Happy Birthday to my alter ego.

Yes, it just dawned on me as I was sitting here trying unsuccessfully to concentrate on a big design project I so foolishly told the client would be done tomorrow (Whoops!) that it was exactly one year ago today when I officially launched this blog.

God, the excitement that day was palpable. The whole Internet was abuzz with anticipation, and the moment at which the site went live was the digital equivalent of The Big Bang … as evidenced by the four comments that were left on that first lame-ass post I wrote (two of which were written by me).

I once interviewed Paul Stanley, co-founder of the rock group KISS, who told a tale about how he and his bandmates rented a limo to take them to their first club gig, and, rather than getting dropped off at the back entrance, they had the driver drop them off out front, where people were waiting to get in. The four of them exited the car in full costume and makeup, and acted like they were the biggest rock-‘n’-roll band in the world.

“And we were nobody,” he said.

I’m like Paul. I like to dream big, baby.

You wanted the best!

You got the best!

The hottest blog in the world …

Daddy Kisses

Well, shit, it worked for them.

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Posted in Life | 14 Responses

One more iMac post, and then I swear, I’m done

I couldn’t do it.

I mean, look at this:

MacBook vs. iMac

I’m used to working with my HUGE iMac in the back there, not Wonder Woman’s tiny MacBook in the front there.

And sitting at my desk with the one in front of the other, it was painfully obvious that the “I’ll just use the MacBook” approach wasn’t going to cut it.

It also was painfully obvious that waiting for my employer to suddenly bestow upon me a new MacBook could take a loooooooong time … especially when you’re me, and you have the patience of a 5-year-old, in which case anything longer than RIGHT NOW is way, way too long.

But I can nary afford to buy chewing gum, let alone a new Mac … so here’s what I did.

I done went and gots myself this bad boy right here:

1 Terror Byte!!

Where my geeks at, y’all? Can I get a “WOOT! WOOT!”?

That’s a 1TB (as in “terabyte” … as in “HOT DAMN! LOOK AT ALL O’ THIS HERE HARD DRIVE SPACE!”) external hard drive, which cost me about $160. (And who knew external hard drives had become so affordable? Not me.) Part of it now serves as my iMac’s primary hard drive, the original, internal version of which has, as previously noted, decided to take early retirement.

And now that I have a fully functional iMac with a fully functional (albeit external instead of internal) hard drive, I have realized something.

Ever hear the anecdote about how, if you put a frog in a pan of cold water, and then slowly heat the water, the frog won’t realize that the temperature is rising, and will essentially allow itself to be boiled to death?

Well, call me Kermit, because it turns out that I have been a frog, and my iMac has been a pot of water … and when I first got my iMac two years, goodness me, the water was crisp, and the performance was, too. And then, at some point, the water began to heat up … until, finally, several weeks ago, I discovered I was being boiled to death.

I won’t bore you with the details, but after running some tests comparing my new, fully functional hard drive to my old, super shitty hard drive, I’ve discovered that it was taking me about 350 million times longer than it should have to accomplish various tasks on my iMac. (OK, more like eight times longer … but the difference between those two figures in practical terms, I assure you, is minimal.)

The only downside to the new arrangement is that it requires me to reinstall all of the applications I use for things like writing and blogging and working with photos and building websites, and to also copy over to the new drive all of my personal files, and reconfigure everything just so … a process I’ve been in the midst of for the past couple days now.


The good news is that my iMac totally kicks humongous portions of ass once again (like, seriously … I can’t believe how awesome this computer is again … and, even more than that, I can’t believe how bad it got before I realized there was a problem), and I am now really, truly, honest to GAWD-ly ready to blog my ever-lovin’ ass off, people.

I think.

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Posted in Geek | 9 Responses